It's hard not to cry sometimes. Especially these days.
I wish Jeffy was not mad at me, I don't think he has any right to be - I can understand hurt or maybe disappointed. I don't think anyone can be mad at me right now, not with what I am going through, unless I have wronged them or hurt them in someway on purpose. I don't recall doing anything of the sort lately...sooo. I don't know.
I just wish this was all over and I could go to sleep forever.
I would be ok with falling asleep and not waking up, I would not be afraid anymore.
I just keep swimming, but I know soon I will drown. I feel the water getting heavier and heavier and it only lightens when I forget.
I brought Finding Nemo over to Jose's house and we watched it together, he really liked it. I think his favortie was Pearl. Yesterday he and I went to Exclusive and I bought a DVD all about Jim Croche, I LOVE him, his music is so good it's sick. Jose bought one on The Clash, that one was really good too, I like The Clash now. Before I hated that shit, but now I hear it so much, I am starting to like it.
We had grilled cheese and tomato soup, it's the only thing I felt like eating anyway, but it was sooo satisfying. I was fat and comfy after wards. We cuddled while watching our DVDs, which we watched on Jose's NEW DVD palyer! woooo! I was happy to hear that, his good friend bought it for him, it's just a little Toshiba one, but at least it plays DVD's. He already had speakers other than his TV one's, so he really did'nt need a while system, just the player. I however, want either a Sony surround sound system w/DVD player or a kenwood set. It all has to match or I get all upset about it. The colors have to match too, I am going to go with the silver tone thing, instead of the black like I was doing. I like the steel look for my kitchen, I am buying a new stainless steel toaster, micro and blender. Tee hee.
Shiiiinnnyy stuff GOOD.