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Chrystal Ann Kaminski
surrealkiller
.::..::. .. .::.:.:.

Explanation of content...
This journal consists of my daily functions, my musings and general thoughts. Read as you wish...

May 2007
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Chrystal Ann Kaminski [userpic]
A little better...

I realize that the WRONG thing to do is cut him out of my life, I mean, I feel like I have been taken away from a really happy family. I should probly talk to him. But I did E-mail him a letter, it basically said that I will not stop loving him and that I was grateful to have him and that he treated me so good, better than anyone else I have ever been with. And at the end, I even said I was going to be the "LOVE ladybug" I am like a lady bug that won't come off your sleeve no matter how you shake HAHA! I will be quiet and just love him from far away then, if I can't be with him. I am probly going to do something else I always to for the one I love...I leave little messages for them and stuff.

I may be a dumbass, but at least I believe in something.

Well, I'm not gonna lie to myself and pretend I don't love him, that will only make it worse, I am devoted to him and that is how it will stay until I find someone else of interest.

I realize how much my friends love me.....Pat and Sara especially....they are trying so hard to make me feel better, and it really worked. Saturday was so awesome for me, thank you guys.

And thank you Katie for talking to me at club and making me feel so much better. Thank you Tina, Jeffy, Michelle and Lynnie for making my life a little easier, even if it's only for a second.

I realize what I can't have, but I also see what I do have and it makes me so thankful.

Time will tell what will happen with me and this whole thing......we will see.

Emotion: melancholymelancholy
Comments

ack, i didnt do much. but the popcorn thing was funny!
welcome. glad i helped a little.

oh p.s. pimpin chicken

HAHA! pimpin chiiickaaaaaan!!

I'm glad Saturday was tolerable

Hope you haven't listened to the saddest cd ever to walk the earth to much... or perhaps at all.

I'm not sure that you did the wrong thing.... I mean if you don't think you can let go of him in a romantic sense, and he continues not to respond, I wouldn't push too hard. You just have to love him from far away, exactly, but sometimes far enough away so you can move forward... and sometimes that's far enough away not to be able to see the person for awhile. If Matt hadn't moved to New York I'd probably still be pining over him... nahh, maybe not but.

Dunno, did he write you back?

You ARE going to CULT TUESDAY. That's no longer a question. ;)

Re: I'm glad Saturday was tolerable

We talked alot, I think I can deal with him as a very close friend, we did admit to each other that we were VERY close though we are not dating material for each other.

He has become my best friend and I find myself being able to be around him and love him in a different way.

It is easier now that I talked to him, to know that I don't have to stop loving him, but love him in another way, it can still be passionate, it can still be deep, it just won't be sexual.

Though I AM dissapointed (LOL) I can manage that, I will find someone who is better suited for me romantically later on.

Yes I WILL be there tonight!