Chrystal Ann Kaminski (surrealkiller) wrote,
Chrystal Ann Kaminski

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So you all read Daniels post....

Yeah, I feel like SHIT because of it, ever since I read it, I can't stop hurting and crying. That feeling of PAIN in my stomach is really starting to get to me.

Daniel basically said that I would not be missed and that I am not worth remembering. Even though we were thinking of marriage and even kids at one point right before he left.

He has NOTHING to be mad at me for, I did'nt do ANYTHING to him. All I did was miss him and everyone knows it. Most of you remember when I would talk about how I missed him and how excited I was that he was going to school, I would always talk about him. And yet he thinks I did not appreciate him, and our time together, which I did. I mean, I GAVE HIM MY CREDIT CARD to use for gas for christ sakes! I did'nt have the money to do that. And anyone who knows anything can see that, you would have to be blind not to.

I am surprised by his behavior lately, he gets pissy whenever I say that I feel somehow slighted by him. That's not a reason to get mad at someone, but try to understand them instead, talk to them and try to listen to why they feel so bad.

I know that I will always miss him, I will always love him and I will ALWAYS keep the time we had together in my heart. I keep all my boyfriends with me forever, because they are an important part of my life, they are people with whom I shared my deepest feelings and thoughts with and they were the ones I was closest too.

I need some closeur here and he's not understanding what I need. I am sad because I think he won't remember me. In his post he talked about all these girls that are worth remembering, and I was not included in that list, though I include him in mine. I include everyone. Because all people are worth remembering, I feel and we are all equal in worth as human beings. I guess I am not to Daniel though.

How could he forget the times we watched movies together all night long and ate snacks and had tea and talked? or the that time we cooked together and made the BEST fetuccini in the world complete with the most awesome experiment sauce? and the times we went out to the most beautiful restaraunts in downtown Madison and talked over wine and calamari? I can't believe for one second that he would want to forget the times when he held out his arms to me and I came to him, or the times where I crawled in his lap and laid my head on his chest. I did love him and he knows that.

I never will regret going out with him, in fact it would have been nice to have more time with him, since that's really what I needed when we were together, more time.

Whenever I see an actor he liked or a director he admired, I will always think of him, and when I go to any movie house I will also. He has taught me so much about the film industry that I will keep with me for future referance if I choose to dabble in that field as well. I learned alot of things from him and that will never change.

I just can't believe he wants to forget all that we were, I am still proud of us. Of what we once were.
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