Chrystal Ann Kaminski (surrealkiller) wrote,
Chrystal Ann Kaminski
surrealkiller

  • Mood:

Dildo

Like my Subject? heh...yeah. I totally did'nt do anything yesterday, I talked to Jeffy on the phone at work and talked to Meg on AIM a little bit. I took Lincoln in to get his oil change and drove home, listening to my Wumpscut mix from John. Speaking of him, I am glad to hear [Amp.sych] will be playing another show in October, I am quite excited for that :).

Today is our "Margarita night", Sara & Pat and Jeffy and I are going to Chi Chi's again if I am not mistaken, then Jeffy suggested that we all go to movie night. I wonder what we will see, imma go online and look at what's playing. I want Jose to come but I don't know if that will be ok with Jeffy or not, I know he really does not like him *rolls eyes*.

I miss Jeffy, I have not been hanging out with him as much as I used to, which is understandable since I have a new boyfriend and all. I do usually spend most of my time with my significant other, but unlike some people, I never just ditch my friends. I take my baby with me if I can't possibly go somewhere without him for some reason, which usually is rare. I don't want my friends to feel like I'm blowing them off just because I am not around as much anymore. I think Jeffy feels like I am doing so, and as I see it, I totally am not. Maybe to him it looks that way, and I seriously feel bad about that, he's my best friend and he knows that and it will never change. I know that he will forgive me though, since he always does, so I really should not worry about it too much.

It's starting to become harder for me to be away from Jose for too long, that's a sign that I should watch out and step back a little, I tend to get sucked in real fast. But this guy has a real hold on me, I have not felt like this for anyone since D.J., an ex from when I was 18. DJ was all I ever wanted back then, we did everything together and I was never as happy as I was with him with anyone else......until now. Jose has the same magnetic effect that DJ had on me, the same level of emotional connection. It's almost to good. I know that sounds crazy, buuuuut......it's true.

I have been searching for that same feeling and now I found what I was looking for. But I think I could be blinded and that I should check myself and make sure that it's what I think it is.

I still have my guard raised a little and I should not let it down all the way yet, Because you never know.

I just know I am happy and that's what matters right now, and that he is happy too.
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